Teens Peace in the Pocket of Difference: The Dignity Project Mid-Year Retreat
As the sun shimmered golden on the fall leaves outside, we, the mentors of the Dignity Project, finished setting up at the Warren Conference Center & Inn before the fellows arrived Saturday evening for our Mid-Year Dialogue Retreat. The energy was high, and Liz Aeschlimann, Director of the Dignity Project, helped ground us by inviting us to share our intentions, which ranged from, “Have fun,” to, “Find peace with our insurmountable differences.” We felt ready and prepared to spend twenty-two hours diving into the skills and practice of navigating challenging dialogue with our cohort of teenage fellows.
Laughter and squeals of delight filled the dining hall as the fellows – high schoolers from seven different faith traditions hailing from across the broader Boston area – rushed to reconnect and eat dinner together. From debating cancel culture in celebrity TV, to sharing hopes and worries about college visits, and commiserating generally about homework and school and siblings, you would’ve been surprised to learn these teenagers had only met two months ago.
After dinner we gathered in a circle and lit a candle. We created a collective centerpiece with objects that symbolized why we wanted to be bridge builders. Religious objects, rocks, souvenirs from family roadtrips – our collective centerpiece became a physical collage of our diverse expressions of a shared desire to show up across our differences.
We learned about our Zone of Tolerance and practiced strategies for grounding ourselves when moments of tension or conflict inevitably arise. We wound down the evening playing games and connecting, including a chaotic 20-person game of Spoons far into the night!
Despite their late night, we were up early Sunday morning for breakfast. We then spent the rest of the morning learning and practicing how to ask meaningful questions that facilitate challenging conversations, increase curiosity, and deepen connection. In reflecting upon the ways these skills enable us to sit in ambiguity and nuance, Zev, a Jewish fellow, concisely named, “It allows me to do hard things.”
This workshop set us up for a full day of both mentor and fellow facilitated dialogues on subjects ranging from AI to abortion to Israel/Palestine. As mentors, we were inspired by each group sharing vulnerably across their differences, pushing themselves to see other perspectives, and showing profound self-awareness around their edges of knowing and internal emotional landscapes. It was a deeply moving day. Keyes, a Unitarian Universalist Fellow, said, “I learned that conflict is not bad, but instead can lead to deeper connection.”
As Sunday drew to a close, Chinae, a Christian Fellow, summed up our time together in her closing intention:
“We are all here because of our perspectives, our ability to communicate, and because we value bridge building. The Dignity Project would be meaningless if everyone who is or has been part of it were just one aspect of themselves, but our coming together and sharing all parts of ourselves made this time meaningful. Although I would not call our discussion today war, there was some conflict with our opinions. Through disagreement and tension, we might have torn some of the ideas we had about one another for better and for worse. But by remembering that we are whole and complex people, we can mend these ideas to better understand one another and have peace in the pocket of difference.”
Before heading out into the evening, we each picked up our object from the centerpiece and answered the question, “Why do I want to be a bridge builder?” We each answered in our own way, and Abdiqawi, a Muslim fellow, named it beautifully: “I want to be a bridge builder because I want to be in a community with people who are different from me.”
In a world where difference and diversity are increasingly treated as harmful and polarizing, our Dignity Project fellows remind us how resilient, joyous, and powerful our communities are when we take a breath, reach across our differences, and recognize the human dignity of the person in front of us.
Jesse Jacob Limov (they/them) is a fourth-year rabbinical student at Hebrew College, a passionate Jewish and outdoor educator, and a social worker in a previous life. They are the Assistant Program Director of The Dignity Project.
Meet students and faculty at one of our fall open houses, Ta Sh’ma (Come & Hear) November 16 (in-person) or online (Dec. 6).
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